The Bridethulu Chronicles

I mentioned before that I have recently become engaged and I want to chronicle everything about my wedding. I had no idea the crazy amount of planning and organizing it takes to make a wedding happen!

From picking a date, a venue, and a wedding party to deciding on your wedding colors and theme (if you choose to have one) there are just so many decisions to make. Then there are the little things that you don’t think about until you’re engaged like processional music and whether or not to do a garter toss.

I am very non- traditional. And I will be a very non-traditional bride with a pretty offbeat wedding style. Unfortunately for me, almost everything weddings is geared towards more traditional brides so I have my work cut out for me. Then add in that I’m not getting married to myself, so I also have to consider the wishes of my future husband.

My fiance is a little bit more traditional than I am and definitely has a few ideas of his own about what sort of wedding he does (and doesn’t) want. He is not religious at all and therefore a church wedding was out of the question. I am a Pagan but since I don’t practice in a church that was no problem.  We decided to go with an outdoor hand-fasting ceremony conducted by a Wiccan High Priestess (and a really good friend of mine). The ceremony won’t really contain any overt religiousness and he seems to be fine with that.

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Probably the thing that may ruffle a few feathers is the fact that we have decided to make our wedding adults only. There are a few reasons for this – the biggest one being budget-but I went over that  in another post. Many of our family and friends have children who they may want to bring and we will have to weather the storm of questions, irritation, and possibly hurt feelings. But it is what works best for us.

When I find myself freaking out about small details, I try to remind myself that the only thing people will remember is if they had fun and how happy the couple seemed. The most important thing to remember when planning your wedding is that IT’S YOUR WEDDING! You should do what you want and have fun with it. The day is a celebration and shouldn’t be stressful. So eat, drink, and be merry.

Why Our Wedding Is Adults Only

Many people view weddings as a mini family reunion. It’s a time when everyone gathers together in celebration and that usually includes kids.

Having children at a wedding is pretty much expected. It is traditionally how it is done and almost everyone includes children as part of the actually wedding ceremony. The flower girls and ring bearers are usually under ten years old.

So, why aren’t we having children at our wedding?

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Well, actually, we will. We already have two sons and of course they will be included in our ceremony. They are a major part of our lives and it would just be wrong not to include them. But honestly, if they weren’t fruit from my womb they wouldn’t be getting a pass either.

As harsh as it may seem there are a several legitimate reasons not to have children at your wedding. I am going to go over a few of the biggest arguments against kids at weddings.

 They don’t care about your wedding.

Let’s be real for a second. No eight year old really cares about the sanctity of marriage. They don’t know what that means and they don’t understand the importance of the ceremony. Perhaps an eight year old can sit through a half hour ceremony quietly and pay dutiful attention as you exchange beautifully worded vows and perform a sand ceremony but – they probably can’t.

The chances are pretty good that they will get bored and they may be loud or otherwise disruptive during a special moment that took months of careful planning and probably a good amount of money to achieve.

Parents will be parents.

As a parent, I know that when I’m out with my children and they start trying to misbehave or get rowdy I am on them. When I’m around my kids in public I’m busy parenting them. It is definitely difficult to relax when you have small children because there are so many things they can get into, get up to, and if you turn your back a second too long they’ll be lost forever.

Most parents are that way and as such won’t be able to fully let their parent powers rest. They will be focused on their kids. It’s not a bad thing but we would like to give our guests the opportunity for a night off to just relax and have fun. With the kids safely at home with a sitter they can do just that.

They’re picky eaters.

I was blessed/cursed with kids who will eat anything but from what I gather from friends that is not the norm. Kids have finicky palates and sometimes refuse to eat things they ate just fine the day before.

That being said, if you’ve done any amount of reception venue searching you have discovered that they charge per guest. More specifically, they charge per plate/chair. They don’t care if the butt in the chair belongs to an adult or a kid. Some places offer a discounted price for kids but my point is – you have to pay for food for them and there is a bigger chance that food will go to waste.

Exponential growth.

Our wedding is a very intimate 50 guests. If we had invited the children of our guests, the number would be much higher and so would the cost. Many of our friends and family have four or more children. That would quickly take our wedding past a budget that we could handle.

Weddings don’t have to be expensive but the truth is most of them are. Having a smaller guest list is one of the easiest ways to stay on budget.

Use discretion.

It’s important to note that when I say “children” I mean kids under 16 or so. If you’re like us and contemplating whether or not to invite children to your wedding use your own discretion to decide what age is appropriate.

A 13-year-old girl may have interest in weddings and be able to sit through and generally not be any bother but its more likely that a 13-year-old boy would be bored and uninterested in all this sappy business.

Take care though, if you allow one 13-year-old but not another feelings may be hurt. It’s probably best to use a one size fits all mentality. Either kids or no kids.

Have it your way.

The decision is ultimately a personal one. Sometimes it doesn’t sit well with everyone. Some parents don’t want a “night off” from their children or are otherwise offended that you think their child may disrupt your wedding. Others simply find it too nontraditional not to include kids.

If you choose not to include children there is a chance that some people won’t come to your wedding. With enough notice, childcare shouldn’t be a problem but some parents may bow out if they feel their children aren’t welcome.

It is something to think about but of course the choice belongs to the people getting married.We decided that since we wanted to keep our wedding small and intimate we would only ask the adults to join us.

What do you think about kids at weddings? Is it better to invite entire families to avoid hurt feelings or is it okay to let the adults have fun? Did you or would you have an adults only wedding?

I’m Back!

I’ve been out of the game for almost a solid two months!

I have good reason though. I’m a mom of two very active boys with equally active schedules. Throw in my calendar and my boyfriends and it’s enough to make you head spin. On top of all that it was the last month of my last semester of College until I start again next year! Finals time. Yea. Enough said.

So many things have happened this past month but the highlights are I GRADUATED!!!! Finally. It has been a long time coming and a lot of hard work, sacrifice, struggle, tears, and even a short stint of homelessness but I DID IT! I. DID. IT. Never give up on your goals, guys. Ever.

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The other thing is that I GOT ENGAGED! I am sooo excited! I’m already ankle deep in planning and I would love to share the planning process with you. It is a bit overwhelming already so I may need your suggestions. Be on the lookout for Wedding posts!

Anyway. Long story short – I’m back AND there will be more blogs forthcoming very soon. ^_^

Dungeons (Prologue)

So I joined the D&D club at my school. For those who don’t know, Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) is a pen and paper role-playing game. It’s mostly (only?) played by nerds. Largely male nerds. And me, I guess.

I was outside my Saturday 9 am math class (gag) when I spotted the flyer. I have never played D&D before but I was always interested. Two years ago I did a campaign in Pathfinder, but it was abandoned after a few games due to scheduling issues. So, I was really excited to learn that my school had a club. I emailed the DM (Dungeon Master – the person who runs the game and directs the adventure) and let him know I planned to come to the next meeting. He emailed me back in character and I knew then that I was in for some very nerdy times.

I sort of feel like I was initiated into this club via the completion of a quest. The flyer I had seen was apparently from the previous semester and when I entered the location it specified I was greeted by a room that was empty except for one very confused looking professor. She looked even more confused when I started asking about dragons.

I tried to email the DM again to no avail, so I headed to Student Activities to find an answer. Of course, no one was attending the post! I stood around like an asshole for a while until I noticed the board with a bunch of flyers for different clubs and things. I found an updated D&D club flyer with what I hoped was the correct location and then climbed up a treacherous mountain (medium large hill) to the door.

After catching my breath, I walked into a room full of male nerds who looked very surprised to see me. Finally, I was in the right place (quest complete), although not everyone was so sure. One gave me a perplexed, “Can I help you?” as I walked past muttering greetings and took a seat. The DM even looked surprised that I had showed up (probably because I was 30 minutes late at that point) and took about 15 minutes to muster the courage to introduce himself.

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They were in the middle of killing a dragon (or being killed by one) and there was a pink Tyrannosaurus carrying a sleeping paladin in his baby arm huddling in the corner. Good times. The DM introduced me to the group and they went on playing. I didn’t join because I hadn’t finished my character yet and I wanted to just observe them and get a sense of how they played and who they were. I’m a natural introvert and I blend in seamlessly when I’m observing so they quickly got comfortable again.

These guys truly love the game. They really seemed to enjoy every aspect of it and they knew the rules backwards and forwards (intimidating). There were a few jokers in the group and I heard references to Dragon ball, Harry Potter, Geek and Sundry, and plenty more that I can’t recall or just went over my head. So I think that I’m in for a good time. I’ll try to learn names or assign nicknames or numbers or something.  I can’t wait until the next meeting when I will be able to join in!

The Lovely Deep

Welcome to The Lovely Deep.

I am the resident progenitrix. I go by many names and I wear many hats but for the sake of simplicity – most people call me Jenna.

The Lovely Deep is a place where I can share my thoughts and opinions with the world. But it isn’t exactly personal blog. I will be doing some blogging about myself and my life, but mostly I’ll be providing information on topics of interest to me and hopefully others, as well as reviews of books, movies, television, and products. That being said, it’s time for a brief introduction!

I am a twenty-something living in southern California with my boyfriend and mother of two boys ages five, and 9 months. Sometimes life makes it hard for me to be the mother I imagined I’d be, but I try. I practice peaceful attachment parenting. Yes – I’m one of those crunchy moms who breastfeeds, co-sleeps, cloth diapers, and wears her babies.

(Disclaimer) I do these things to the best of my ability because it is what works for me and feels right – I must point out that everyone is different and I don’t judge other people for how they choose to raise their children! So don’t worry about getting preached to. ~_^

Aside from being a mom I am a student in college. I’m studying Communications and Film/Tv/Radio. I’m an aspiring writer and one day I’d love to write and direct TV or movies. I am big into SciFi/Fantasy (think Doctor Who, Supernatural, Star Trek and anything with Witches). So basically, a nerd.

Yes, I am a HUGE nerd. Stick around for five minutes and you will be sure of it. I love reading and books (I’ll be sure to keep you updated on what I read). Game nights are a thing I enjoy! Tabletop games, card games, video games and the like. Be prepared to learn all about the awesome games that I play.

A few other things you will hear about from me are my Natural Hair and weight loss journeys. Both are still in progress so I will blog about them as they continue. I LOVE food and eating… and posting pictures of my meals. Because I just KNOW everyone wants to see what I’m having for lunch. Naturally.  I may also mention plenty of other (probably geeky) things not listed in this short intro.

Well, enough about me (for now). Thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoy The Lovely Deep.

P.S. Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook!  ^_^